I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
