The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
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I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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