I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
