She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
