I love watching others lives come down to our level.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
