is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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