The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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