You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
