this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
