True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
