Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.