yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now