So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.