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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Heyyyy darlin are you busy?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (574): View more from Indiana

  My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  dude how high are you right now?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (650): View more from California

  So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back

  (971): View more from Oregon

  You should go to counseling for that

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy

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