Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.

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  (573): Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving. http://tfl.nu/96e5
  Replies (33) Good night (825) Bad night (3208)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.

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  (416): So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying. http://tfl.nu/y4gl
  Replies (91) Good night (2082) Bad night (9838)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!

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  (732): wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative! http://tfl.nu/b5c4
  Replies (67) Good night (6950) Bad night (1067)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night

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  (817): i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night http://tfl.nu/17kd
  Replies (11) Good night (1330) Bad night (6177)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  nutella sex= disaster

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  (708): nutella sex= disaster http://tfl.nu/zj5e
  Replies (26) Good night (1044) Bad night (5419)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.

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  (440): Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana. http://tfl.nu/g8b3
  Replies (24) Good night (1976) Bad night (6793)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal

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  (503): Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal http://tfl.nu/qwe2
  Replies (13) Good night (7409) Bad night (1594)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'

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  (+44): Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!' http://tfl.nu/w3o8
  Replies (6) Good night (2015) Bad night (860)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl

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  (248): My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl http://tfl.nu/sa4n
  Replies (5) Good night (1690) Bad night (998)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.

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  (423): I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day. http://tfl.nu/soww
  Replies (10) Good night (521) Bad night (1437)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment

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  (515): I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment http://tfl.nu/kkgu
  Replies (11) Good night (776) Bad night (3130)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.

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  (712): He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge. http://tfl.nu/wcqn
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (925)
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  (916): View more from California

  Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?

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  (916): Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick? http://tfl.nu/xs5h
  Replies (2) Good night (523) Bad night (333)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on

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  (919): I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on http://tfl.nu/gqy6
  Replies (3) Good night (384) Bad night (417)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.

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  (505): I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL. http://tfl.nu/q99g
  Replies (6) Good night (500) Bad night (416)

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