U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
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he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
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He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you made out with another girl for some wings