Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??

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(515): View more from Iowa

Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(607): View more from New York

When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.

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(714): View more from California

Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"

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(703): View more from Virginia

Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.

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