Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.

  (1-310): View more from California

  ewwww. she might as well have a dick.

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  (310): she cant drink. allergic to alcohol. (1-310): ewwww. she might as well have a dick. http://tfl.nu/aucq
  Replies (28) Good night (695) Bad night (1406)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.

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  (989): We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning. http://tfl.nu/h1ay
  Replies (23) Good night (5231) Bad night (848)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess

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  (847): Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess http://tfl.nu/s4vr
  Replies (7) Good night (959) Bad night (3900)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.

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  (281): Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit. http://tfl.nu/j2fi
  Replies (27) Good night (1546) Bad night (4259)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.

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  (515): once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window. http://tfl.nu/ziko
  Replies (8) Good night (3588) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..

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  (512): At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso.. http://tfl.nu/wlhb
  Replies (12) Good night (2339) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.

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  (423): You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti. http://tfl.nu/u3mr
  Replies (2) Good night (1140) Bad night (2008)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Our room will be decorated with my urine.

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  (434): Our room will be decorated with my urine. http://tfl.nu/12hg
  Replies (2) Good night (576) Bad night (1880)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party

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  (602): The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party http://tfl.nu/nvop
  Replies (2) Good night (1081) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.

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  (228): She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics. http://tfl.nu/kvtj
  Replies (8) Good night (847) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.

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  (248): For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance. http://tfl.nu/b72j
  Replies (5) Good night (901) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.

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  (540): By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill. http://tfl.nu/ghyy
  Replies (0) Good night (785) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related

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  (775): I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related http://tfl.nu/atsx
  Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises

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  (519): Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises http://tfl.nu/10cn
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me

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  (217): Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me http://tfl.nu/45vc
  Replies (2) Good night (898) Bad night (317)

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