The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
