we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
