what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
