her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
