Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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