Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
