dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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