my sisters under your porch take her home
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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