If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
