Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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