Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
