This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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