my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
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So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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