stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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