Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
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I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
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It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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