Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
