Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
