I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
