So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
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It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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