so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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