This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
