He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize