Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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