after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
