I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My feet surprised me
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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