you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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