i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
