you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
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after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
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Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.