im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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