guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
