I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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