I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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