Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
