TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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