Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
