remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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