so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
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Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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