did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
