It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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