Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize