you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
