I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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