just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
