i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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