Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So squirting runs in the family.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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