my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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