It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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