for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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