I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
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No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
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I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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