She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I could fuck to npr.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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