So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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